1. They haven't won anything since 1976 (33 years).
2. They have a man named Craig Bellamy in their starting XI.
3. Every single player there is only there for the money.
4. Their manager is an ex-United player who is still a Red at heart.
5. They have a delusional Argentine forward who thinks the United supporters will give him a warm reception at Old Trafford
6. They spent 14 million pounds on a Chelsea reserve left back.
7. Their leading goalscorer is an emotional time bomb waiting to go off and will be hit by a big time ban in the near future.
8. Their supporters are more obsessed United than success (after they scored against Arsenal the supporters immediately started singing "Who the fuck is Man. United")
9. They still have a small club mentality.
10. Many supporters preferred them as a small club and dislike success?!?!
11. Their supporters would rather sing about Munich than support their team.
12. The council house (eastlands) is never full unless they're playing Man. United.
13. They brag about beating a second string Barcelona in a friendly as if they've won the Champions League.
14. They were a third division club eleven years ago.
15. They constantly complained about United's spending and doing it "the wrong way" until they got some cash of their own.
16. They gave up eight goals to Middlesbrough.
17. In 2008 their double was beating United twice. United's was winning the League and European Cup.
18. For their biggest European night in decades they handed out 40,000 inflatable bananas.
19. Their record signing Robinho thought he was signing for United.
20. The majority of their European aways have been to Cardiff
21. They've had 17 different managers in the last 20 years.
22. They added three starts to their new club badge to feign some success.
23. Dimitar Berbatov told them to fuck off on deadline day.
24. Kieran Richardson has won more Premier League titles than them.
25. Ryan Giggs was two-years-old when City last won a trophy.
26. They are going down with a billion in the bank.
27. United need a velcro sign keeping track of City's trophyless seasons.
28. Nial Quinn is in their hall of fame?
29. Their captain has played for the club for two months.
30. They needed to con Manchester United supporters out of their money to pay for an empty stadium.
31. Their biggest claim to fame is an ex-rockband (as of this August)
32. They still think they're a massive club.
33. Next year I'll need 34 reasons.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
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6 comments:
I know you're just ripping the piss, but what the hell:
1. They haven't won anything since 1976 (33 years).
So? Only a big four fan would make a big deal out of that. There are lots of teams in England that haven't won a damn thing ever that still have loyal and passionate followings. Winning trophies isn't the only, or even the best, reason to support a club.
2. They have a man named Craig Bellamy in their starting XI.
And he's been very effective.
3. Every single player there is only there for the money.
Bullshit. And do United players turn down their paycheque?
4. Their manager is an ex-United player who is still a Red at heart.
He's not just any ex-United player. He's a legendary ex-United player. But I'm pretty sure he's only focused on blue now.
5. They have a delusional Argentine forward who thinks the United supporters will give him a warm reception at Old Trafford
I'm sure most won't, but I have no idea why this matters.
6. They spent 14 million pounds on a Chelsea reserve left back.
So? They have the money.
7. Their leading goalscorer is an emotional time bomb waiting to go off and will be hit by a big time ban in the near future.
...who is as talented as they come. You might have noticed that they have a little depth upfront anyway.
8. Their supporters are more obsessed United than success (after they scored against Arsenal the supporters immediately started singing "Who the fuck is Man. United")
I'm not sure this is even true. And City supporter's aren't the one's writing unprovoked lists ripping a club they supposedly don't care about.
9. They still have a small club mentality.
How? By aggressively going after players that they want? By refusing to take no for an answer? By making outrageous bids for the world's best players? Plus, you have a pretty big four skewed view of what a "small" club is...hint...they ain't in the Premiership.
10. Many supporters preferred them as a small club and dislike success?!?!
One old dude wrote an article where he moaned about how things were better in the old days. Most supporters are quite enjoying this.
11. Their supporters would rather sing about Munich than support their team.
There are a few in any crowd. I tend to hear This and this a hell of a lot more than anything else though.
12. The council house (eastlands) is never full unless they're playing Man. United.
You know they were ranked fifth in EPL attendance last year, right?
13. They brag about beating a second string Barcelona in a friendly as if they've won the Champions League.
Who brags about this? Really, who?
14. They were a third division club eleven years ago.
So?
A relegation might do a lot for the humility of the typical United fan...it would weed out the glory hunters, that's for sure.
15. They constantly complained about United's spending and doing it "the wrong way" until they got some cash of their own.
I'm pretty sure the club itself never complained about United's spending. However, the big four managers all seemed to have an opinion on City's spending this summer.
As for the fans...well, you're overstating that, but fans are fans. You could say the same thing about the fans of pretty much 15 other EPL teams.
16. They gave up eight goals to Middlesbrough.
United lost to Burnley earlier this year. Tell me which result is more relevant (although neither really is to the overall question)
17. In 2008 their double was beating United twice. United's was winning the League and European Cup.
Again...you're betraying your big four fandom. So, what?
18. For their biggest European night in decades they handed out 40,000 inflatable bananas.
Which speaks to an organic tradition started many years ago. I'm not sure why you would find that worthy of scorn.
19. Their record signing Robinho thought he was signing for United.
Ummmm...no.
20. The majority of their European aways have been to Cardiff
Cardiff is a lovely town. It really hops on a Friday night.
21. They've had 17 different managers in the last 20 years.
Even if you include the caretaker guys between managers it's still only 15. But, I'm not sure what, say, who was managing in 1996 has to do with now...
22. They added three starts to their new club badge to feign some success.
No, they really did win two English championships and a European Cup Winners Cup. Your big four thinking may dismiss that, but it doesn't make it any less real.
23. Dimitar Berbatov told them to fuck off on deadline day.
And they had the most signings in all of England during the last period.
24. Kieran Richardson has won more Premier League titles than them.
Also 98% of the teams in England.
25. Ryan Giggs was two-years-old when City last won a trophy.
Yet, the club is still one of the best supported in all of England. Says something about loyalty, don't you think?
26. They are going down with a billion in the bank.
You think City is getting relegated????
United fan keep a velcro banner keeping track of City's trophyless seasons.
Just who obsesses on whom?
28. Nial Quinn is in their hall of fame?
So?
29. Their captain has played for the club for two months.
This might be the only relevant point you've made on the list.
30. They needed to con Manchester United supporters out of their money to pay for an empty stadium.
As stated, the stadium isn't anywhere near empty. And the stadium was built for the Commonwealth Games, not specifically for the club. But, I'm sure they could probably buy Old Trafford now to use as a dog park if they were so inclined so, you know, whatever...
31. Their biggest claim to fame is an ex-rockband (as of this August)
A damn good rock band...
32. They still think they're a massive club.
So how are they acting small then?
33. Next year I'll need 34 reasons.
Maybe. But, I'll still be here..
Wow Duane I think you took this way too seriously.
Okay it was only tongue in cheek. If I was really giving reasons as to why City won't win anything this year I'd give more football relative reasons. Either way so excited for this Sunday!!!! Can't remember being so excited for a derby in a long time.
Hey, the Portland Fucking Timbers have done the double and could do the treble in USL-1 this year.
Anything can happen.
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